What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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