Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
