The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
