I just threw up on my dentist
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
