I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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