mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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