that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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