thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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