what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
