Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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