my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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