What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
