He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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