my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize