At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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