you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
