i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize