so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
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Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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