We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
