I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
