i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
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I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
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I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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