it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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