im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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