you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
