I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
