Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?