i already hear my dad disowning me
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help