I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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