Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
