I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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