so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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