I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
