well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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