have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
