I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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