Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
