there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
