sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
