i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
