I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
