dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
