this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
