why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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