We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize