Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
