They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
honey bunches of taint.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
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Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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