her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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