My hand turned me down
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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