she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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