are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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