ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
wow bdsm is so cute
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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