No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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