Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sorry about my life...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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