I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize