no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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