i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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