This girl is more easily done than said...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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