My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
