We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
