i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
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His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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