the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
