Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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